When I have these fully exhausted days I’m numb nearly, very
raw emotions, and a tolerance level of nil.
Sophie was up from 1:30 AM on, and when she did fall asleep,
after the sun was up, she had a nightmare that there was a crab in her hair. It’s
been a long night, day whatever it is.
Add in a tweenager who is bound and determined to make me
feel guilty over her not seeing a movie today. Never mind the constant you have
to help around the house fight that occurs every single day when I get home and
see her dragging out of her bedroom just getting up.
I’m beyond. I feel like white fire. A hot mess. A don’t mess
with me mess. Like I should don a superhero costume and end the B.S. in the world
around me with 1 fail swoop. But I have not the energy today to swoop anyone or
anywhere, so the B.S. in the world around me is safe.
I wonder what God’s intention was for me today. Not just in
my life, or on this journey but TODAY. Whatever it is, I’m thankful for it. I will
battle this day, not on my own strength but with HIS.
This life is not do-able right now, so HE will make my
steps, decisions, calm my anxiety, and push away my lingering depression…it’s
all HIM. All HIM.
