My day began late as I expected and 7 AM came very very fast once I shut my eyes.
This is the side effect of a baby being on steroids.
But momma was exhausted & when Sophie did sleep I had to hold her so the few hours I did get were sitting up holding a 1 year old. There aren't words to explain how tired I am, I think I'm beyond the tired and running on adreneline right now.
Emotionally I'm a wreck too, you see someone I care about so very deeply is hurting and I can't do anything about it. Nothing. Nothing but pray and leave it in God's hands. Which sounds so easy, but really it's so hard to put my hands up and say "it's your's Lord".
I'm a fixer, God created me to be a fixer, and HE doesn't make mistakes. Sooooo what do I do about this urge to fix this? To get on a plane, fly out there & hold his hand. I wait (and I'm suppose to do it patiently but that's another virtue that I've not mastered either), and I wait, and I wait. I hope and I hope and I hope. I believe and I believe and I believe. And last but not least I do it all with expectancy! Expecting God to bless him and save him from the evilness of others.
I'm here expecting, believing, waiting & hoping.
Me.
