Life isn’t fair, but no one said it would be.
God is good, even when life isn’t. HE is my
rock, my Grace supplier, my guide on situations where I am lost, and my
everything. HE is there when I am trying to pull away. HE’s the voice I hear in
my heart when I’m crying out “where are YOU”, saying “I’m still here, I’ve
never left”. I often picture God sitting in my Pink fuzzy chair in my bedroom
keeping watch over me. Especially when my day has been hard, and my heart is
heavy. There is no peace like that of a child who has a momma or daddy sitting
beside their bed keeping watch.
This life isn’t easy. But no one said it
would be.
This past weekend I have quoted the words, an
ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure a million times. Last fall I
didn’t put the pool cover on, I’ve worked 3 days so far on the pool trying to
get it ready to open. 3 days inside a 4’ plastic pool with 3 kids running
crazily around, arguing, fighting, begging for this or that as if their last
breath depended on it.
Each day when I got to the point of breaking,
I quit. I couldn’t do it anymore. My sanity was worth more than 4’ plastic tub
of water. I’m finding that my laundry pile and the dish pile and the dirty
floor…well those things just are.
I don’t know how to do this life.
I have had to deal with so much in the last
few years that I find myself settling with things and I don’t want to settle
for anything. God tells me, “Val, you are mine! A child of God doesn’t settle!
A child of God waits for the blessings beyond all things I can imagine.”
I’ve recently battled mentally with the “do I
even know how to love” question, and when I met a guy recently I still don’t
know. I don’t know how to know and right now I don’t know. Am I blessed? Beyond
all things humanly imaginable.
These are the last few days of 2nd
grade for Ian and 4th grade for Kennedy. There is no homework at the
end of their day & these last few days we’ve had no nighttime
extracurricular things going on. The idea of coming home and being is just
terrific! There is nothing like it. Being home at night is wonderful. These are
the days of smiles, laughter, popsicles, bike rides, and memories.
It’s during these soft moments that we can
all breathe and say, “thank you”, watch the sunset over the trees, and know all
is well in the world. Does it mean that we won’t have struggles? OMG No!
But for the moment I will have a banana
popsicle and lean back with my feet up, the dishes, laundry & broom can
wait.
