Good Morning Lord

Good morning Lord,

I see through the blinds that the sun is shining & its going to be a pretty day.

I've got Sophie in the tub, had to after a round of fruit loops!

And yes Lord, we are planning on church.

Lord, Please Please Please let her go to the nursery.

I seen on fb where a friend of mine's young daughter had a baby. Lord, her family was so supportive! I wish mine were that way with Sophie. I never want her to know how they felt about her before she was born, but Lord…ugh is all I can say.

I have to forgive them for their actions and their words. After all it was YOUR Son who said it best when HE said "Father Forgive them for they know not what they do". How would they know years later that the words they said still cut to the core and that it was never forgotten.

I think about that and wonder about my own actions towards others. Have I done or said things to others that have been hurtful and long lasting? If so I beg for forgiveness from YOU and them. I cannot go to every person in my life and ask, so I simply implore for forgiveness.

I know that hurtful feelings and hard times often make us short with one another. As is the case with my cousin & her family who have betrayed me by going to my ex-husband. I forgive them because they don't know what they have done. They are unchurch, and being led not by YOU but by their selfish desires. Lord, let me know when I am being led by my selfishness and not by YOU, convict me and let me set straight the wrong path.

Lord, bless us today. Kennedy & Ian with a shield of protection and all of us with YOUR great love, favor and blessing.

Much love,
me.

Our Saturday

Today my Sophie & I traveled about an hour for a flea market.

It was awesome & guess what I found?

It is perfect on my porch! I'm so excited!

We took a little bit of the scenic route & made it back just as our energy levels started to drop from the colds that we both have.

So now we are bundled up on the couches, her asleep & me snuggled up under a quilt.

I did clean the kitchen, and make a cheese ball for the basketball games (not really into basketball, but love the excitement!), but the rest of the house can wait.

Anyway this week has been terrific! We've had a lot of really great times! 

Thank YOU Lord for blessing us with this time together! I could not ask for more!

This is Sophie self-feeding! She had no idea she had a fruit loop on her head!

Well a couple pics of all the flooding in are town, guess Kennedy's softball

 won't be starting Tuesday (shucks!)

So until later…much love!

me (& Sophie too)

Just thoughts, random...

So last night the weather got BAD!!!!

Really Bad!

We are located under the blue box.

Our area was it by a Tornado 2 years ago & 6 people died and 1/2 of our town was destroyed.

I had the weather radio on & then at 10 PM or so the neighbor called (they live in a trailer) and she and her family came over as well & we hunkered down in the hallway. It was a long hour. Sirens, lots of thunder & lightening. HORRIBLE. But we made it unscathed and thanked the Lord & then begged Sophie to close her eyes & go to sleep again.

As the weather got worse and worse, all my single momma-ville moms crossed my minds. Even those who are married but the work force for their husbands is so demanding that they live the life of a single momma.

Thank YOU Lord for protecting us & keeping us safe.

I've lived in this neighborhood my entire life (minus 1 yr in TN), and I have only known the ditch to overflow 1 other time, last night was the 2nd time I've ever seen it do it. It poured so hard all night long.

Lord, you give and you take away. The rain came & in the morning as I look out my window so did the birds chirping, and the quietness of the day at this hour (because everyone else is asleep). Lord, I know that in my life that I am seeking the dawning of the next phase of my life. I am seeking peace, and contentment, and understanding that comes ONLY from YOU! YOU ALONE.

My "I wanna know" mentality is struggling to BE STILL, so like the kids on our trip I'm wiggling in my seat screaming "how much longer"! But YOU are the driver & YOU have the map of my life & YOU know where I am headed & how great it will be once I get there!

Thank YOU Lord for helping me survive, not just last night but every single second!

Much love,
me.

Not Ready...

I'm not ready yet to love.

I've tried to rush it by doing the "sites" hoping that someone else might make the hurt go away.

They won't.

I just hurt

and

its ok.

Maybe someday seeing your name won't hurt so much.

Maybe someday hearing that song won't hurt so much.

Maybe.

But for now it does.

For now I have to heal, my subscription thing on those sites are just for a bit longer & then I will not be rejoining. But until then I will not be visiting them. I have to heal and I cannot heal by making things worse.

I have to trust God that I will be okay & heal from all this.

But for now I hurt.

My kids help me, but today when I seen your name pop up, my heart stopped and I couldn't do anything but look at it.

Just keep me close Lord.

much love,
me.

Spring Break

We are on Spring Break!!! (1/2 way through to be exact, shhhh not telling Ian!)

This week so far has been amazing!

I've had no less than 6 kids here every day!

I've bandaged knees, made cookies, wrestled kids, broken up arguments, fed, fed, and fed more and more kids, watched sunsets, listened to laughter and had my heart warmed by each one of them.

This is what living in momma-ville is about.

My house is a mess, and I have a Dish Network guy coming today to do some changes so I have to clean up before 1 PM but not in any rush.

I'm a mom, living an insane crazy life, healing a broken heart, finding God in the most unusual places, and rejoicing every single second of it.

Thank God for coffee, for the quietness of this moment, for my crazy kids, and for my life.

I complain, I cry, I beg, I wonder, I wish, I hurt, I am a mom. A single mom living in Momma-ville.

I'm not the greatest at anything, but I live a great life because of God and because of 3 really great kids.

Thanks Lord for giving me what I needed and not what I deserved.

Much love,
me.

Just right!

Last night I asked Ian, do you think we are poor?

He said no.

I asked, do you think we are rich?

He said, "no mom, I think we are just right."

Thank you Lord I needed that.

~me

We survived and lived to tell!

As I type this my house is being over ran with kids. 6 as a matter of fact.

But dealing with 6 children running all over pales in comparison to the last 24 hours.

I took my 3 kids and traveled 3 hours away to French Lick, IN to an indoor water park & spent the night.

and…

we survived!

I'm so proud of myself, I know that I was able to do it because God granted me everything I needed.

What did I learn in these last 24 hours:

1. All children need luggage on wheels.
2. Sophie needs the harness that allows small children to walk & still stay close to the parents…you know like the kid on a leash thing. (I NEVER thought I would ever use one of those, but then again I never thought I'd be a single mom of 3 kids, one being 1 yo.)
3. Take more food.
4. TAKE CHARGERS TO ALL ELECTRONICS!
5. Take more pictures.
6. All children need water shoes.
7. Staying in the same hotel as the water park is by far the smartest decision in a long while!
8. Remember that the kids are ALWAYS a blessing even if they are throwing a fit because you are having to drag them from the water park.

It was an awesome trip that I am absolutely EXHAUSTED from.

Thank you Lord Jesus! We are so blessed!!!

Much love, 

me.