It's early Lord. Like 7:21 AM early. How, oh how I wish I were still sleeping instead of up, with 1 cup of coffee downed & listening to the kids argue already.
I've decided we are going to church today & I'm nervous about it. It's such a challenge to take Sophie to church but I'm hopeful that the nursery will be a fit for her & that I will be able to listen to the sermon. I so need to hear YOUR Word Lord. I need the worship time to feel the beats inside my soul. I need to be infused with YOUR promises again Lord, because I feel like I've lost them somewhere down the way. I'm here Lord, ready to feel YOUR Hand in mine & feel you whispering when I need it & yelling at the other times that YOU are still here with me. That I'm truly not alone and that this "single mother-ville" that I live in isn't my forever zip code.
There are days when I beg for someone to help me. Thank YOU for not listening & granting me that prayer, I don't need someone I need YOU.
I fall asleep most nights knowing that the pink chair in my room is occupied by YOU and that YOU are watching over me and YOUR children that YOU have entrusted me with. It's a comforting thought that lets me breathe easier and go to sleep.
Tomorrow I take the kids on my first overnight trip at a hotel. I'm scared I will admit it. Traveling with kids alone & then going to a hotel alone. Its a bit overwhelming to think of it all, but I have to get 1 trip under my belt. It's my desire to take them to the ocean & to do that I have to feel secure, so this is a learning experience for me on a smaller scale.
There's a ton to do to get prepared, but it's do-able. And Lord I thank YOU for giving me the ability to take them.
I pray that YOU will help me get through these years of discipling and training these 3 kids to grow into adults, or at least toddlers & kids who aren't bullies, or meanies, and are wise with their choices.
Well mommy-ville is calling so I must end this for now….
much love,
me
