I think that I have said "I can't" so much people don't take me serious about it anymore.
But tonight I can't give another second.
The constant is too much. Spring break week is off with a bang and with little bucks so home we are.
Today 7 kids were in and out of my house, running, playing, eating, drinking, and having a grand ole time. There comes a time when you say I quit, and mean it. Messes will get cleaned up eventually and as long as no one is bleeding or in danger of dying all is well.
I can't tonight.
I can't take anything else on. Please don't let any catastrophe happen because my reaction to it will be nil. I just can't.
I can't figure this life out on a regular day, little lone a day when I've had 7 kids here. I don't even think that is legal for a day care...but yet I did it. If you could see my dog right now you would see she too is saying "I can't".
I can't tonight.
And when I can't I want to lash out at those who have left me to "have too", who have left me to navigate these waters that are not friendly, who have left me to paste on this "hey I'm fine" look on my face. However I subconsciously imagine my fake smile looks much like the Joker's in batman. (NOTE TO SELF: That could be why I get all those crazy glances back)
I think that this being day 1 of 5 of the 2016 Spring Break and having 7 kids in my home and hearing "Let It Go" for the millionth time today and having to threaten every one of the 7 kids with the "don't bounce the basketball in my house" rule, and having to make my 3 come in and sit down and give them the "if we don't find this remote control no one plays for the rest of the day and everyone else goes home" rant because internally I was loosing it at that moment...probably is a sign tomorrow needs to be calmer and lower in numbers.
But the clock is reading 7:25 PM and a little red head is yelling at me on the other side of the door begging for me to let her in, so I must end this rant.
I'm tired Lord, so tired. Thank you for no loss of blood today! For letting everyone get home safely and for there not being a mutiny.
Good Night and Much Love