I have considered changing my name of this blog to "THIS SIDE OF THE BATHROOM DOOR" because its my go to place.
I'm borderline migraine but I will live because compared to the previous months my meds are working well! I use to have them 3-5 a week, now I'm down to now just having 1-2 a month. Praise God!
We are flat smack at the tail end of Thanksgiving Break and while I should say that these days off have led me to be more of the Thank-ful part of the break, the reality is I'm more of the break part of the Break. My emotions have been all over the place. ALL OVER THE PLACE. I keep giving myself grace about things because I want to believe anyone who slips their feet into my slippers would be darn near the same.
I broke when carrying the tree in the house and wrestling it, getting it in the stand and then discovering the pre-lit lights wouldn't work.
I broke when I strung the lights on the tree backwards, discovering the plug was at the top of the tree instead of the bottom.
I broke when I was breaking and 2 of 3 kids were on their phones as I struggled.
I broke when I was asked to bring stuff for thanksgiving that has to be baked... the host knew my oven has not worked in a month (the host was my sister).
I broke when my kids fought soooo much that I put myself in a time out... then the kids broke a lamp. I broke again.
I broke when I battled the insanity at Walmart to find out that they had sold out, even before the sale started. Then I learned that my friend purchased 2 of the things 1 1/2 hours later. I came home empty handed, put on my jammies and went to bed at 6:20 PM Thanksgiving night.... not very thankful, plenty of reason's to be thankful, but not very at all.
I'm so over this struggling part. Am I a wondering Isrealite on the cusp of freedom wandering in a circle of my own creating chaos???
Am I overreacting because nothing is working right and I'm throwing myself one heck of a pity party?
Whatever the reason, I'm over it. My cozy looking living room that I will show next time looks great and I'm ready to sit down, chow on some food, read my book and survive this time. I don't want my kids memories of me to be one of my mom struggled. I want them to remember I loved them hard.
Love, Me.
