Friday, February 10, 2012

As soon as I felt safe and secure in my new relationship all craziness broke loose and we took a break. Of course it was only about a 24 hour break, but long enough to realize that we both have some work that needs to be done and that it's worth working on.

Life is funny sometimes.

When you think you know what you want, you seem to be constantly presented with challenges that lead you wondering if you are truly satisfied.

I was reading online yesterday at (in)courage and it was talking about relationships and the thing that we most want to know is that we are worth it, that we matter to someone. If you followed my journey here you know that is exactly what I needed all along my path to divorce. Did I matter to him?

What I realized as that I didn't matter to him but I did matter to HIM!

Gods opinion of me is what matters. That is all that matters. So as things start to heal in my relationship new boundaries are going to be set, (some I'm not sure will matter), but my life and my relationship with God and my children WILL come first period. I have to get back to my life and going through these last day or so was enough to make me realize that I need my life back and mostly that I need my SAVIOR back.

I've missed you sweet Father. I know I've wandered away from YOU and that YOU continually stayed behind me, just as the shepherd always does. I mattered to YOU, just as each sheep matters. Thank You for loving me, for protecting me, for holding me and carrying me back. I cannot fathom why YOU chose me, but am so glad that you did.

much love and many prayers