Sunday, December 7, 2014

I'm her.

Yes I'm her.

The one who comes in each week with 3 kids in tow. Sits in the back row and has the very busy redheaded child.

I'm her.

What you don't know is when the choir sings those songs about Grace and healing and brokenness. It's about me. That's why I'm wiping tears away and trying not to break apart completely. I struggle to keep composed.

What you don't see on the 6 other days and the other 23 hours of Sunday is the blessed life I lead.

I have a beautiful home, 3 beautiful healthy kids, a great job, a nice car to drive, food in my cabinets & freezer. I have everything that I've wanted.

But I'm alone.

My husband of 14 years left me because this wasn't the life for him.

I've tried dating sites. Not good.

So I sit at home with my children. I raise them and I go to bed. I do laundry and dishes, pick up and put up and take out garbage. I rarely sit.

But I'm alone.

I want so badly to have the life with a partner, someone to share my day with. But this is the journey God has me on right now.

There are plenty of days I want to give up. But I can't. So I cry, dry them, survive and repeat.

So when you see me wrestle with my kids and wipe my eyes. Please pray.

Much love, me.