It's early and I've been up for a while.
Think the stress from everything lately set off an anxiety attack and I have been up focusing on just simply breathing and praying for others.
There was a point that simply breathing and talking to Jesus was all I could do. I felt HIM so close. I felt HIS hands on my knees saying "relax Val, I've got this".
I want to scream out the fact that I was lied too and its not fair and HE reminded me that HE too knew that feeling. Even though I told HIM I didn't want to have to accept it that I wanted to tell them what my heart felt, HE assured me that HE will handle it. And I believe HIM. I have to, because to scream, doesn't help HIS Kingdom.
Selena Gomez has a song called "The Heart Wants What It Wants" at the beginning of the video she talks and its words are true and its something we all have experienced I'm sure...she says that she can be feeling so confident and then everything shattered in a moment by something, something stupid. The worst part being that the other person makes them feel crazy and like it was our own fault.
I have allowed someone to make me feel like I was the one that wasn't good enough for them, in all actuality they were never good enough for me. God knew I needed and deserved better and HE is still sending them.
So here I am again needing to give myself some good 'ole grace. Giving it is the easy part, taking it is the hard part. (laugh laugh).
But all will be fine and God will continue to protect me I know. UGH...
Much love, Me
PS- Think it's time to turn the page on life!!!!