Friday, December 5, 2014

Trying this again.


It's Friday night and it's been a crazy time in our house. Kids are always busy and the piles of things that need wash grow as fast as the kids, the floors are always dirty with crumbs, and there is this holiday that is rapidly approaching.

It's been a while since I've written. My heart hasn't been in it and so I've given myself a break. Not sure I'm ready yet but have to give it a try.

I think about my year and I'm saddened with everything that has happen and yet amazed and blessed.

But no need on looking back, I'm not going back there. Wipe your tears big girl and pull up those big girl panties and head on.

A couple weeks ago I had a date. It was a with a friend from High School. We had a good time, he told me he wanted to take me out again, when he had a night off. Yeah I thought. Today one of my sweet friends told me she had a date and was so excited. I asked with whom? With the guy I went out with. I didn't tell her that i had just been out with him 2 weeks before and had been led to believe that we would go out again. I told her have a great time, he is a good guy.

I had to say that because he is a really nice guy. It is what it is that he hurt me. But I did message him as well and told him to "have a great time tonight she is a sweetheart". I didn't think he would reply but he did and said "it's only dinner taking it slow".

But inward I was dying, I was screaming again what is wrong with me? And through my tears I say, Thank YOU Jesus. I will heal and go on and eventually I will quit looking and let God place someone in my life. It will be okay.

This single motherhood of 3 is quiet a lot at times. But somehow I will make it through this with God's Grace. HE's my everything.

Much love,