Thursday, August 16, 2012

What a day...

When I get overwhelmed with life or have to deal with a difficult situation I tend to break much easier than in the past.

I could blame it on my hormones, or I could just face the fact that I still hurt.

I haven't spoken to Richie this week, and don't really intend too, at least not right now.

This week has been rough, very busy at work, not sleeping good, trying to get kids ready for school which starts tomorrow, plus add in the fact that yesterday Kennedy told me she wishes she had a daddy again, and today our cat died.

Geez. A lot to take in.

The fact that Kennedy said those words cut me to the core and thank God for sunglasses because they somewhat hid the tears. My heart broke. Even after all this time she still hopes for her daddy back. I think that more often than not when daddies leave they focus their energies on making good memories with their children on their weekends and forego the actual parenting duty.

Adding in the loss of the cat has been hard on me too because she was the 1st animal that Tim and I had. So there was an emotional attachment to her.

Somedays are just too much, and this is one of them. I had a sweet friend ask how I was today, this was right after I found out about the cat, I told him and I'm sure he regretted asking.

As much as my children want a daddy, I want someone to take care of us. I don't want to have to be the one in charge all the time, I want someone to be the head of our household and love us so deeply that nothing could ever stand in his way.

Father, does that person exist?