Friday, November 2, 2012

Looking for God's Fingerprints

It happened again, it happens about once a day.

The "what in the world- I didn't know" conversation.

I explain the "I know it was a surprise to me, but everything is great" part and smile.

My smile isn't real, its full of hurt, and I never know exactly how to end that conversation.

She is here with me, wrapped in a fuzzy pin blanket snuggled up all adorable and perfect! I couldn't ask for anything more! God has completed my life with hers.

Why do people think that they should be informed on every aspect of our lives. Guessing because facebook makes it possible to tell everyone everything, but its not necessary.

No one needs to know what you are doing today, what you are having for supper, or even if you are pregnant or not (especially if you don't want them to know).  I wasn't embarrassed about being pregnant, but condemned by guilt. I had to deal with my own guilt and accept God's forgiveness and then my own forgiveness.

I also didn't feel that those people who didn't care about me and my life on a daily basis didn't need an outlet to give me input on my life and situation. I didn't need to know what "they" thought, I needed to be quite and listen to what God was saying.

My life is confusing, hard, emotional, and a mess on any given day at any given time and a lot of times I don't call and confess to my girlfriends because I'm hoping to hear God's voice. I want and need to hear HIM! I need HIS direction! I need his fingerprints on my life again! But then again I look beside me and this sweet bundle is absolutely covered with HIS prints!