Friday, November 9, 2012

My Journey

When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. (Psalm 138:3)

I survived that night. Woke up the next morning (or at least hours later) to the overflowing of "I'm sorry's" and "I love you's", not surprised. Its a wonder what a few hours of sleep with cause a person to reconsider. But is it enough? No is my answer, at least not right now.

My heart is still so heavy. 

I'm not ready to forgive, not willing to say "I understand that you were just tired". 

I'm not ready to give him an excuse for being disrespectful.

It seems that all too often I give people the "it's okay" for their bad actions or words. 

You see I'm exhausted too, a newborn has that effect on people.

Ms. Sophie had her 1 mo. check up yesterday & she now weighs 7 lbs 9 oz! We took in a little shopping too. 

I seen a family friend & she ooh & ahh'd, then said "you look great, but very tired". Great. This was of course after our waitress asked me "what is this baby to you?" meaning is she your grandchild? How old do I freaking look??? 

So remorse about him not getting any sleep, don't have any!

Where will this relationship go? I don't know. I don't have to make any decisions right now.

All I know is that God is my refuge, HE is my strength, HE will guide me through this.

And the journey begins....