Thursday, March 20, 2014

Wide Open

Good Morning Lord.

The corner cafe, 
She scrapes some quarters off the table, 
Says thanks yeah now maybe I'll be able,
To get that black Mercedes,
I've been saving for, 
The other girls say, 
You outta undue a couple buttons,
Start showing off a little something, 
She says naw you go ahead, 
Think I'd rather stay poor,
See I'm just making rent, 
She said this ain't where my road ends

--From Jason Aldean's Wide Open

As I was working out yesterday this song came on my iPod & it has a familiar ring to it.

This life, it "ain't where my road ends" I stand here amongst so many that frustrate me that they go on and succeed, the girl at the gym who looks perfect but is cheating on her husband, the ugliness at work, the other single mothers who were dropped for a younger less responsible model, and the lies that others dish out knowing that hurting someone in the long run is the end result.

People just don't care anymore. 

Morals don't matter.

I have people say to me all the time, You have to get out more. 

I want to scream, "get out? into what? this garbage?"!

I've taken out the garbage from so much of my life and I don't need to replace it with other pieces. Lord, this life gets lonely. There are often days that I don't have an adult conversation with anyone, but let me say this too. I'd rather talk with children than with a liar so if that is what you are protecting me from I'm ok.

I know that there is some grandeur scheme up your sleeve, but until that day of revealing…please don't let me go. I'm scared, tired, and feeling like I'm making a mess of 3 really great kids. Help me please Lord.

Much love,